The Grand Vizier
“I know where you can find him,” she said. Her eyes lowered to the ground.
“Fantastic! Let us go at once and find him,” the intrepid explorer said with a grin.
A look of compassion flooded her eyes. She returned them to the ground.
“You’re sure? You want to find him no matter what? You wouldn’t maybe consider…” she trailed off.
The explorer stared at the young woman with a look of confusion. What horrifying secret could be so bad that she would want to deny him his life’s purpose?
“I am sure. I will find him wherever he is. Long and hard is the ro-”
“He’s over there,” she said as she pointed her finger.
“He’s right there. Standing there. In the corner.”
The explorer turned around. In the corner stood the grand vizier. The grand vizier stuck his tongue out.
The explorer turned back to the woman.
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“Well, here’s the thing,” she said. “I assumed that when you came here fifteen years ago and you were asking where the grand vizier was that you were either drunk or a lunatic. Because he was standing right there in the corner, where he always is. I assumed you either saw him and still asked, in which case you were a lunatic, or you didn’t see him and were just drunk or something, so I said in that weird voice, ‘Yes, you must search the world for him.’”
She cleared her throat.
“I didn’t know you were actually an explorer, and since he was standing
“But that’s absurd! Why would a grand vizier be hanging out in the corner of
She sighed as her arms fell to her sides. “Because he’s not
“What? I don’t underst-”
“Dude,” she exclaimed. “You are in a
The explorer’s cheeks flushed red.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. You get a letter from a guy claiming to be a grand vizier and you go to the return address on the envelope and it’s a
The explorer stared blankly.
“No, no, no,” he said as he wiped the sweat from his forehead and adjusted his Stetson hat. “That doesn’t check out at all. One can only conclude that the secret elite international organization the grand vizier informed me he was a member of planted that lookalike and has obviously gotten to you, forcing you to say…”