“No, no, no,” he said. “I know what you’re thinking. Just allegedly.” He paused to let that sink in.

The horrified woman clutched her child to her side even tighter as her eyes widened in shock.

“Allegedly,” he emphasized further, with a brief pause. “I’m the one who called the police about the severed heads. If anything, I’m the hero in the matter.”

He leaned down toward the young child, “and this young prince is going to get to hear about it all tonight, aren’t you little fella’? You wanna know what the killer did to the bodies first? I betcha do, don’t you.” He stood back up, making eye contact with the mother, waving his hand dismissively. “Kids love hearing about this kinda stuff these days. Like them Saw movies. They go nuts for that gory shit.” He leaned back down to address the child. “And this was some gory shit I can guaran-fucking-tee you! You’ll never guess what he did with their gallbladders! Not in a million years!” He smiled at the young prince.

The young prince stared back blankly.

The hero took his cue and began to run frantically down the driveway, as he heard that Mr. and Mrs. Smithfield would in fact, not be attending the movies this evening and would, in fact, be resuming the services of their previous babysitting agency, as well as installing home security at some point in the very near future.